It’s ok. Really.
It’s absolutely fine.
It’s really no big deal that you thought you were giving it your all.
That you believed that you actually put yourself out there to live by the slogan of “give it your best”
But it’s undeniably true. We all live by expectations, and give our best to even get half of those expectations. But if we don’t even reach them by 1%, that’s when the glass of wine starts filling up. That’s when a “bad day” category is in order… That’s why, you question yourself, and everything that was once an unmovable iron fact, becomes as insignificant and random as dust.
And yes, you end up breaking yourself into pieces – and drinking more wine of course.
But hold on. “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” best pep talk, happens to be true too, but why should it kill you in the first place? There is an undeniable strength in rising up after falling so deep, but there is also even more strength in categorizing what should and is allowed to even remotely touch you.
The best part is… it’s all up to you.
Give, give more. Live, and then some more. The strength is in not expecting… it’s in giving, knowing that that’s what you expect from yourself. Or don’t give at all, if that’s you expect yourself to do. You might get really tired and expect some time from others… expect a gesture, a response, any type of acknowledgment. It’s ok. Be sad then, put your head between your hands and get all puppy eyes. You have 10 minutes.. and then, hey: