When first you don’t succeed, take a shower. When done, try again.
So here goes… a shout out to all moms, our moms and everyone who one day will be.
With a baby girl in the house, plans, all plans, change. Post-it, calendar, agendas, to-do lists become IT. Don’t get me wrong, you’re still the same person, you still have the same dreams and ideals… but your thoughts – expand. Overnight you grow into a parent, having a parallel thought to each original one.
As a mom, I’m now thinking for two, all the time. When buying a shirt, you start in the women’s department to find yourself checking out with 15 kids items. It’s amazing the capacity and endurance that one can have. It’s not just about raising kids, but really, there is a whole life to it. I now appreciate the patience, care and constant presence – both physical and emotional – that my mom invested in me. It’s unbelievable, not to diminish the importance of fathers, but moms are a “cocoon,” a safe haven from literally everything!
The small details, the particular food types, the shopping, the beautiful field trips, the studies, the long nights, the random tears, feedings, clothes, birthdays and planning…are a small part of our every day tasks. We do them wholeheartedly, aiming for nothing less but perfection. But this is only one aspect of it.
There is the Woman side too, which is as lively as ever, thinking for two as well, but this time it’s the woman and the partner. The happiness, the love, the appreciation, the friendliness and every feeling we’ve ever shared with our partner. These become heightened, more important. It’s like magic how these feelings expand as well. Happy parents, happy life, healthy kid. And at the end of the day, we all really want the love and life we had with our partner, included in the new family life that we now have.
And yet, we’re not done. Women, like me, who see themselves as professionals and ambitious, have a third aspect to consider: their career. Those who don’t work might think that “it’s just a job” but it’s really not. There are emotions, time, care, planning and responsibilities that tag along to one’s job. Your job is like a realization of everything you’ve worked for your entire life… and this as well, keeps you alive, and fresh.
All this being said, comes a moment in everyone’s day where the feeling of “I seriously need a minute for myself” is at its peak. Do you think moms always find that time? In some rare occasions yes they do, in others … Well moms know.
Motherhood is a blessing – beyond what words might describe. It’s like seeing your soul in front of you, having tiny feet and hands… It’s a miracle that needs to be fully appreciated and not rushed into. You’re transcending yourself into another person, a part of you is outside of your body now, soon to roam around the world; you need to learn to control those emotions and channel them. There is an indescribable happiness in sharing the “first time” of everything with your child, but such a responsibility to it as well.
You think it’s overwhelming? The time for a quiet coffee might seem a dream at times, and I’m only blogging about it with one kid in my life, I can only imagine women with more. To each their endurance, ability and plans to set or expand their family – only mothers can determine this – but no matter the number of family members the truth is the same for all. Here is the holly grail of motherhood: a time for yourself, a balance in your family. There is a certain level of sacrifice and compromise, but great moms are those who get to be great women, who get the chance to still flourish in their plans while raising their child to flourish into theirs. Great moms are those who take a moment to catch their breath, who make some time for themselves to keep in touch with their emotions and dreams; who still go to work, look fresh, date their husband, teach their kid, make plans and – drum roll – take care of themselves, have some alone-time.
Use post-its if you need to, but remember to breathe, appreciate yourself.
You’re teaching balance and equilibrium to your child, it is important to learn to respect yours. To all moms out there – take a night out with the gals, enjoy a good glass wine, put on some make up, wear those heels you put aside for some time, have fun with your kid and continue to grow into the person you’ve always wanted to be. Don’t stop. Raise your daughter, in my case, and rise with them. It’s by becoming accomplished in your own life, that you teach them to be accomplished in theirs.
So, cheers moms! Cheers to great women!
You’re an inspiration to all of us… may we be the same for the new generation.
Strength – Advice and some Tips!
- Wear a minimum of make-up. Even when roaming around the house waiting for your daughter to wake up!
- Take a lukewarm shower – every night – or morning – or both.
- Keep your room – baby-bottles-and-pacifies-free
- Take a few minutes to yourself. Mani-pedi is a must. Hair too!
- Get a magazine or a book – find at least 10 minutes to read.
- Turn on the news, stay connected to the world.
- Record first laughs…
- Take TONS of pictures.
- Snuggle your kid! Throw kisses and hugs at every occasion.
- Appreciate every second – even when sleep-deprived.
- After a month or so, get out of the house. Go shopping, treat yourself with something nice.
- Start planning again
- Start dreaming again
- Watch movies – seriously unplug.
- Be strong. You’re the example your kid will follow… guide them well.
- Your kid is going to get sick. Don’t panic!
- Cry when you need to, let it go… sometimes you simply need to do nothing.
- It’s ok to be selfish – you need to touch base with “you” at some point. We’re not talking “center of the universe” but we’re talking about knowing how far you can go, setting limits and knowing what you can and cannot undertake.
- Get back in shape – take vitamins too.
- Ask for help. You’re not superwoman, not yet at least. Wait until your post-delivery time is done and then ignite.
- Dress up and go out on a date with your husband… start regaining those time alone.
- You’ll become more acute and aware of the world around, of the people surrounding you. You’ll have a list of No-don’t be around me, Yes-you’re good. You’re more sensitive and more aggressive… just let go of those you are uncomfortable with, and welcome the good ones. You’re a mom now, you want nothing but positive vibes and good people around your daughter!
- Be kind, to yourself. You’re doing a great job, give yourself credit through all ups and downs. Avoid self-criticism… it’s the worst.
- Love your husband, love your family and yes – not cliché – love yourself.
I think you’re all ready to go now.
Sticky-note the above everywhere in your house and shine through!